
i kind of laughed ; it made me smile. a for effort, bruv.
that’s fine, i’ll come to yours as long as you’re sure it’ll be all right. think I can even talk tony into bringing me in so i don’t have to train it. tell me when you want me.
nope. no fuckin’ stonems, man. you keep talking shit and i’ll fuckin’ start crying deja vu or whatever the pissin’ french say for ‘i suddenly don’t remember what the fuck is going on’, alright? don’t be retarded.
How hard is it to find a decent latte around here?
alls a latte is an overpriced mug what some posh fucks decided to piss in, babes. when they ask you if you want cream you know they’re just adding a bit of cum to the mix. if you’re into watersports, i’ll sort you.

Cardiff is really boring when the person you’re here to see leaves you alone in the house all the time.
the fuck are you in wales for, katiekins? fuckin’ bollocks up there. the welsh are scum, ain’t they?

when you want to get together? i’ll make time, my job’s a fucking joke right now. dead as fuck.
alie, just ain’t so sure i can sort another trip out to swindon, man. money is tight around here, this metal fuckin’ bastard chris and me has got shacked with us? his fuckin’ gut is as black as his pissin’ slayer-humping soul. and by black, i mean the lad eats and eats and eats and i never seen him drop a load once. get it? like a black hole or sommat? you’re laughing, mate, i know you are.
cum to mine so i can get work during the day … worth the risk, yeah? …
It’s not like you don’t fancy sleeping with Chris in his room, so I don’t really think I owe you anything at all.
Fuck’s sake, I was barely gone a week to see Anita and my dad and you two are trying to bum me already. But, I guess that’s not without reason.
And no, Cook. How do you expect me to book a gig when that ginger bastard is M.I.A?
toosh, metal muff. toosh. shaggin’ on a waterbed is a fuckin’ thrill i can’t deny. you oughta cum make it a threesome, get your dick damp and have a bath all at once. fucker keeps springing leaks.
you was gone too? no wonder it smells something died, mate, HAHAHA. probably all the monkey tosser’s fuckin’ fish … you want in on the pet shop run so we can get him some new children or do i have to carry all those little buggers myself?

didn’t mean your shit band. fuckin’ terrible noise you make, richie rich. was wondering if a proper band was playing, we could go get bevvied and cock’n roll.
Yeah, I love you, Cook, but you don’t screw everyone you love. I don’t fuck my mum, do I?
i reckon you don’t kiss your mum the way you kissed cook, babes, and if you do? you probably fucking are making sure her muff is nice n tidy, you cheeky bitch.

it’s cool. got you to admit you love me, that’s fuckin’ enough.